Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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