Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
