Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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