if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
