Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
