Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You are a genius and a whore.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
