Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
