it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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