Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
