there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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