I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Randomize
