Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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