You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
