will power is for people who don't want to get laid
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
