i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
