I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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