so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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