can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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