If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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