I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
