garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
