There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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