You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
