Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
