It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
