You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
