He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
