please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
