Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
