ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
