btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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