Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Terrible idea I love it
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
