If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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