I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
