Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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