i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize
