I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
