How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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