who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
there was a trapeze. enough said
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
