wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
