He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
