You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
