Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize