Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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