"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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