Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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