how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
