Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize
