I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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