OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
