I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
