i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
