Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
