Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize