she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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