Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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