Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
