I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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