Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
