my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize