So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
