fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
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