i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
