I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
