dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
