I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
