But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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