Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Of course I have a pirate flag
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
